As a writer I have always been fascinated with the origin of words and sayings, but I began to doubt myself the other day when I asked the good lady if she had ever heard the expression "spending money like a man with no arms".

I think she had just returned from one of her shopping sprees and had bought a bottle of wine that cost more than a fiver, had bought real butter instead of a spread, a loaf of bread that wasn't actually on discount, and a bar of soap (what's wrong with just using shampoo in the shower?). I mean, I ask you. Such profligacy.

When she said she'd never heard of it, I began to doubt myself; I thought I made it up in my sleep. After all, it sounds contradictory, doesn't it? If you go shopping with no arms how could you get the money out of your pocket?

However, the ever-reliable Tinternet confirmed my recollection of the mysterious saying. One correspondent wrote: "I believe the answer to this question is the person who is "throwing money about like a man with no arms" is greedy and doesn't like to spend it.

“I also think that it can mean that you are very cautious and smart if you know what I mean."

That won't be me then, as I often go into the Co-op to buy stuff.

Another informed me: "It means spending money you can't afford to spend... like bills or rent money. No arms is a metaphor for being skint but still spending when you know you shouldn't."

A third correspondent, who shall remain nameless so as not to shame his dodgy grammar, ventured thus: "I'd say it means someone who is a bit stingy with money. You can't go around throwing stuff everywhere if you don't have no arms." 

A double negative often adds to the confusion.

An acquaintance, whose hobby is writing, said: "It's one of life's truly daft sayings, I agree, but I do use it! I prefer ‘spending money like there's no tomorrow’, though, which does actually make sense."

Incidentally, he was not referring to himself, which explains why he is always a bit on the slow side when it comes to buying a round.

Finally (well, almost finally), Blonde Bella - that's what she calls herself - offers what, to some, will be politically incorrect: "Does it not mean they are not spending as the man with no arms can't reach his wallet?"

She continues: “It means you are a tightwad and most probably Scottish. Most Scotsmen are known for having short arms and deep pockets."  

I wish I hadn't asked!

Billy Connolly had a very funny routine when he recalled expressions from his mother such as "I'll make you laugh on the other side of your face”.

It's a bit like the two men who meet in a bar and one says to the other: "How are you enjoying living in Largs?" and the other replies: "I think it's good." 

"Does your wife like it here?"

"No, she's like a fish out of water."

"You mean she hasn't settled?"

"No, she's deid."

When I was involved in the Prince and Princess of Wales Hospice Burns Dinner, the charity produced a programme showcasing 'Glasgow Patter'.

They explained to the international guests that if, in Scotland, they heard the expression, "He pure dinghied me, man" it meant he was being ignored.

The expression, "Geez a piece and square sausage, mate" was a request for a popular sandwich.

Or, "The ginger lassie drank ma can o' ginger" demonstrated two meanings of a word.

Perhaps the piece de resistance (if you'll pardon my French) was "Ach, I've heard enough of yer blethering, so shut yer geggie" – which, as any Weegie will tell you, is 'stop talking and close your mouth'.

Perhaps the best example of Scottish grammar comes from the couple in the pub when the man says to his partner, "Gie's ma pint ower."  

Whit? "Gie's my pint ower." 

Whit? "Gie's ma pint ower."

“Are you not forgetting a word?” she says expasperatedly.

"Oh, right" he acknowledges. "Gonnae."