Unless you are a highly paid politician, doctor, consultant or train driver - or lucky enough to win the lottery - you won't be able to afford the fanatical lemming-like rush to net zero.

For starters, it has become even clearer that we, ordinary mortals, cannot afford to buy an electric vehicle and a home heat pump in the imminent years ahead to 2030. You would have to have the pension of an MP, council chief or bank executive.

The SNP/Green diktats on taking all petrol and diesel cars off the road, and that all houses replace gas boilers with inadequate heating pumps, is quite clearly airy fairy virtue-signalling politics. These policies are designed to appease the nut jobs of Just Stop Oil, Extinction Rebellion and sundry lentil-munching campaigners.

So, as I write this, it is heartening to see that some common sense decisions are being made, such as the carbon capture project in the north of Scotland, and a hundred new oil and gas drilling licences.

We'll all still be using gas and oil by 2050, never mind 2030, so why would you want to import it from foreign trouble spots when you have plenty of your own? Whatever happened to "It's Our Oil"?

Bike-riding vegan MSP Patrick Harvie, who is, remarkably, paid around £100,000 to lead Scotland into the green revolution, is a fanatic for all things anti-car, anti-flying, anti-meat-eating extreme socialism.

He was appointed Minister for Zero Carbon Building and Active Travel (as long as it's a bike) by someone called Nicola, despite being a politician who has never and would never win any election if you had to count his actual paltry votes. No wonder former Green legend Robin Harper declared this week that his former party had "lost the plot".

I doubt if Mr Harvie laughed as much as I did when the BBC's own zealous environmental correspondent revealed this week that it would take 400 years to put a heat pump in every home in Britain. Yes, madam, so you and I don't have to worry too much about finding the tens of thousands to get rid of our gas boilers.

Scottish Labour funder and multi-millionaire Lord Haughey, who will earn even more by making and supplying said electric and hydrogen heat pumps, has admitted that they won't even be efficient in Scotland.

Lord Haughey has pointed out that the eco systems are unsuitable for our climate as their performance plummets in freezing weather - and there's plenty of that despite the so-called "global boiling".

The good Lord added: "I should really be jumping for joy but the truth is that heat pumps don't work as efficiently in Scotland. The water can only be heated to 54C which is lower than the Health and Safety Executive's recommended figure of 60C."

Even when the heating pumps continue to work in cold temperatures - and, let's face it, July wasn't very warm - they draw more electricity, resulting in higher bills. His solution is to convert to an electric boiler, as the current price of a heat pump is around £15,000 - and that's without the cost of installation. As I write, electricity is three times more expensive than gas.

Where in the name of Jehovah are councils going to get the mega millions to convert the stocks of rented homes?  What's that?  By doubling the amount of council tax you pay. Oh, that's all right then.

No, there will be no rush towards 'Nut Zero' when most of us can't even afford to buy a bag of nuts.

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Thought for the Week: The three C's of life: Choices, Chances, Changes. You must make the choice to take a chance, if you want anything in life to change.

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A tad serious above, so here's a humorous tale from Ireland...

A daughter returned to her Irish home for the first time in five years and her father demanded to know why she had never been in touch with the family.

The crying girl confessed that she had become a prostitute.

"Ye what? Get out of here, ye shameless harlot sinner. You're a disgrace to the family."

She replied: "OK, dad but I just came back to give mum the title deeds to a ten-bedroom mansion and a gift of two million pounds.

"I have a gold Rolex for my little brother and for you, daddy, a sparking new Mercedes convertible that's parked outside.

"I would also like you to join me on my new yacht in Monte Carlo."

Dad said: "Wait, what did you say you had become?"

"A prostitute, dad," she cried.

"Oh, bejayzus, ye scared me half to death, girl. I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug."

Aye, the true heart-warming stories are always the best.